Stay Awake, Please

Like most people I find that the days are too short for all that I'd like to accomplish. There's work, studying, reading for information, reading for pleasure, reading for conversation, visiting with friends, and then there's sleep. That last thing has been on my mind a lot - or maybe I should say on my waking mind. For each of the last four days I've probably slept about 16 to 20 hours. Luckily, I don't have any major deadlines this week, and I'm also pretty damn productive when I'm actually awake. This is what my doctor calls functioning narcolepsy. She doesn't actually know if that's what I have, but I've seen two neurologists who concede that it's a possibility. All I know is that when I'm not on medication, I can't keep my eyes open for more than 8 hours at a time. I compensate by walking around, going to the gym, and abstaining from caffeine and sugar or anything else that could cause a "crash." I do my best not to nap, and really can't indulge the urge to sleep very often because it's just not socially acceptable to sleep at one's desk, or place your head on your fellow subway passenger's shoulder. I don't even like it when people's coat sleeves touch me, so I'm not about to relax enough to get cozy with a stranger. Ick.

On Monday I'll go into a sleep lab where creepy doctors (I'm sure they're actually very nice) will watch me sleep and assess my brain waves. It's a little scary to think that I could be abnormal in such a fundamental way, but it'll be nice to have a name for the persistent urge to sleep. Well, other than outright laziness. That's not really a label I want. I'm on the search for non-pharmaceutical remedies to my problems. I'm starting with vegetables, herbs and multi-vitamins, but will move on to acupuncture in May. I assume that my body is weary from the last decade of moving and general upheavals to which I've subjected it. If I could start all over again, maybe I would have gone to Berkeley. Just to be in the same time zone for an extended period would be a treat, and might even help my circadian rhythms help themselves. And just in case you're wondering, I'm writing this now as part of my promise to myself to stay awake until at least 10 PM tonight. Only 35 minutes to go . . .